ihavewaytoomanyfeels:

I don’t even have a sense of humor anymore it’s literally just sarcasm and general loathing for the majority of the human population. 

chinkerbelle:

Reasons I grab my boobs

• running upstairs
• running downstairs
• running
• stoked on life
• scared
• walking through my house in the dark
• bored
• boobs

iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

this is a follower appreciation post because if you think about it when 1 person follows you it’s not just a number it’s like a whole real person who breathes and eats and hits its pinky toe into furniture i mean it has legs and everything DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A BIG DEAL IT IS

donttouchmynewtonballs:

when you’re in a really bad mood and someone tries to cheer you up

bird-on-a-leash:

paperwhale:

claydols:

your bra strap is showing please hide it because it is suggestive. also your boobs are producing lumps in your shirt please hide them. your butt is in the same situation please get rid of it. also your legs. your arms. your face.

I can see your feet and it’s very distracting and slightly arousing.

griffinilla:

recommended for me